Living with ME was quite possibly one of the loneliest places I have ever lived.
There was a sense of a cage you could not get out of; all around you dullness
Friends came and went. On certain occasions you’d find the strength to live up to the woman you once knew. On other days there was nothing left. Laying in bed crying, praying help would come. But you had no idea how to ask.
You felt the let down and the guilt. You felt surplus to demand. The places you said you’d be and could not come. A continual permission of am I allowed to put myself first which seemed impossible to serve
It was only after finding Reiki that I began to self serve.
Then came the full stop & the pause.
Breaking down, in this society, has so many connotations built in shame
At the truest form of Love all is allowed and everything is equal in that.
We talk about breakdowns and breakthroughs
Less about the full stop. The permission to stop. The absolute need to stop. The allowing of nothing being there at all
The openness, the void. The no idea about anything at all
But Love
Oh Love
Love reigns supreme at the root of it all and you make this your job
