Thank you to the woman who gave me the guts to write these words today and who always holds space for my heart. She is Soul’s treasure. Boshka
Love Kate x
im afraid of money
and im afraid it will come back at me
just as i healed it and feel better i feel it will hold me in its grip again
spiralling
feeling pathetic yes but more than this failure
please can you help me. Who can help me with money
its always the me you see
i hoard it hold it close to my chest so no one can really see how much i am hurt how my bones they are blood and how close to the bone i have been.
please hold me close a little while
share with me
pour me a cup of tea tell me its going to be okay
i didnt go to my sisters hen do. That felt incredibly painful
the old me would have gone. She would have paid for others as well
why did nobody pay for me
am i asking them to? What do i need
i suppose i feel pathetic here, again, there is so much wealth buried in deep
when will it come
is there a trail
is there a treasure map
do you think i will fail
what if i find it all and then it all falls through
what if i dont spend it in a right way that is truth
what if in and amongst it all i have to go back to the old way
what if i am persecuted
will i be hurt again?…
.
.
.
money hurts me every day
i am afraid
i am a woman who believes in her worth
who used to earn a mint
she was generous and kind with her wealth
she also spent a lot
i do not persecute her
i revel in her wealth
if she is well then i am well
the woman that i was
Love Kate xxxx
